Is none of my business
“I have been trying so hard … I have been doing all of the things that I ‘signed up’ to do in order to lose the weight and feel alive again. It has been working and I was so proud when I did my weigh in on Monday … and then my world came crashing down on me! As I turned around and had lifted my t-shirt up to measure myself, my Husband walked passed and said, “you still have a belly!” Feeling a little deflated, later that morning at coffee with some friends I shared my disappointment and one of my girlfriends said to me “well actually, he is right isn’t he?” Double hurt! Now I feel like just giving up …what is the point?”
Wow! Firstly, it was a great lesson for me NOT to check my social media before I started my day (not exactly the most positive start for sure!) My second mistake was to read the 1st couple of replies … all of which were quite ‘aggressive’ in nature towards her Husband and friend and urging her to ‘get back at them … prove them wrong… ’etc.
I sat with this whole dialogue as I moved through my morning routine and then I felt compelled to jump onto the replies. I felt that this dear woman needed to hear something different than the support in ‘pay back’ if that makes sense? So, I sat down and wrote her a little message … essentially reminding her that the reason she was on this exciting journey of wellness was for her… not for her Husband or friends or anyone else. I mentioned that often others are sometimes threatened or fearful (and may I say even jealous) when we make decisions in our lives that are for the greatness of ourselves. When we start to make those great achievements and when we start to display our excitement in life, it can trigger others on their own personal challenges. We don’t know other peoples ‘stories’, and everyone does have a ‘story’. It is important to remember our own reasons for doing what we do and if we are doing things for other people – if we are doing things to make them like us more, or love us more, or accept us more – then are we really doing those things for the right reasons.
I have been super guilty throughout my life of doing things for others in order to have them like me and yes … many times in order to have them love me too. I can say 100% every time that I was not happy. Yes I was achieving goals, yes the things I was doing were working and yes as a result people were ‘liking me’ and ‘loving me’ however I wasn’t happy! Eventually I learned that doing things for others was not the secret to inner happiness. Doing things for ourselves first, without concern of what others thought, was most definitely a major step towards inner pure happiness.
Also, throughout life, as we have all experienced, others often times say things about us behind our backs. Everyone has an opinion right? The worry that we have about what others think is time in our precious amazing lives that we are wasting. In closing on the reply, I sent to this amazing woman, I reminded her of a great quote from the late great Dr Wayne Dyer – ‘It’s not the snake bite that kills you … it is the venom that continues to flow throughout your veins that does” In other words when we are hurt or disappointed or upset that is the ‘snake bite’. What we have to do is apply the ‘tourniquet’ and prevent the ‘venom’ to continue to live in our thoughts because at the end of the day … the ‘snake does it’s bite and then slithers away without another thought or care right?’
‘What other people think of us is none of our business’ … what a great quote! I wish I had thought of it!
“Speak up…even if your voice shakes!”
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